Hakumei

for those who don't know what the title means, it is actually Twilight in Japanese. and no, i ain't gonna talk about twilight, i'm going to talk about the MOVIE!!!!! XD

on the 27th of november, my sister (huge fan), my mum (knows a little - next to zilch) and i (huge fan) went to a cinema to watch. not surprisingly, only half of the room was filled. i didn't mind. though, i did mind some smart people (even i have no idea who were they) started giggling and laughing at the corner for no good reason. idiots =.=

anyway, i have to say... the show was AWESOME!!! now i definitely am not going to say anything about the insides of the movie, cos then it would be just spoiler! but i have to say, no offense, people, i still prefer the books. but, haha, the movie is just as beautiful ^^

here's a little picture in the movie... i just feel like putting a picture here ^^'

Twilight Merchandise

Crush

I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush

'Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way about me
It's just too much, just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You've got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?

Do you catch your breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't going away...
Away...

Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time, girl, are we just friends?
Is there more, is there more?

See it's a chance we've gotta take,
'Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last
Last forever, forever

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?

Do you catch your breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't going away...
Going away...

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You've got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?

Do you catch your breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't going away...
(This crush ain't) Going away...
Going away...
Going away...

Crush by David Archuleta - I love this song... it just captivates me...

Boring much?

looking outside my window (or the balcony, more like), i see... darkness - it's night time. haha, i am so bored that i have nothing better to do but to create a new post.

let's see... today, since i woke up, i have been staring at my computer. i went through my usual websites... and then i started randomly surfing the net. i was so bored i could cry.

then, in the afternoon after lunch, my family and i went around places doing stuff - yeah, stuff - and then we went home, an hour and a half later. haha guess what i did then?

that's right people, computer... again.

i swear, if this goes on, i'm gonna have a nervous breakdown. i tried reading a book, but as interesting as the plot goes, i can't seem to get a comfortable position.

so in conclusion, i spent my entire day in front of the computer. it's so boring (i can scream and bawl my eyes out and it won't change a thing!) T.T

an empty-meaning post, i apologize for that. this is what boredom can do to me... ^^'

Advantages

call me stupid if you want to, but seriously, i have no idea how i managed to keep this up for so long. i am like a dumb dog that just lets people push it around just to please them. i am actually amazed at myself.

don't normal people get angry when someone pushes them around? don't normal people usually get revenge for taking advantage of them? hmm... well, i never did like the idea of me being normal anyway *shrugs*

it's like i do not have a single sense of dignity about myself. maybe i just don't care about myself. hah, what do you think about that? i just... let people have their way with me (but really, i do not let them got too far, of course).

if i do not do something, if i do not change this situation... who knows what might happen next? already i have been sweared and yelled at for a practically useless reason.

but if there IS one thing i have not yet learned how to do, is change who i am. maybe i have recently done that, but only when i am unaware of the change. but when i am aware, i feel scared just thinking about it.

so as stupid as i am now, how am i suppose to change this whole situation? first, i need to get rid of this weak and hopeless character in me.

i don't even know how much time i have left.

Perfect Guy, anyone?

okay, people. i have decided to accept a challenge (which i rarely do) set by a friend of mine. she told me to post my description of my Mr. Perfect.

haha... such a joke. but i figured, hey, no harm in doing this, right? right. it's not like Mr. Perfect is going to appear in front of me the next day anyway. so i am going to write a list as my description... just read on ^^

my Mr. Perfect should
(essential)
1. have a good sense of humour (definitely, DUH!)
2. be smart (in all ways possible)
3. love to read
4. be strong (physically and spiritually)
5. be supportive
6. be gentle (should love kids too)
7. have a good heart and be compassionate
8. must know loyalty
9. be the opposite of me (i do not mean completely)
10. be handsome (which girl doesn't like a cute guy? at least he should be, in my eyes anyway)
11. be athletic and sporty
12. must love music (MOST ESSENTIAL lol)
13. be taller than me (most definitely)

(not essential... but if have, even better.)
1. know how to cook (hey, who doesn't love a surprise every once in a while?)
2. know how to draw (i can't draw, but i love looking at art)

there, i have said it. now, i know this is ridiculous, but i can't help it! but sometimes, i might just make an exception ;)

feel free to either compliment or criticize this post (" ,)

What Now?

seriously, for those who know me, can you tell me what on earth is wrong with me?? i am going to bang my head against the wall this very second if something else doesn't happen soon.

my head is spinning like a wooden top that won't stop spinning even though there are obstacles in between. i don't know what else to do.

i tried to not care about my surroundings, and just continue with life (which has just gone from hectic to more hectic). if you guys knew what i see everyday... if only you people could see it. it is so painful, so painstakingly planned out just for me to see. as though one arrow was not painful enough, another arrow keeps coming - one after another.

i would like so much to describe what i see, but sadly, i have my reasons. but i can tell you this: i see people, everyday, drifting away from me. they come and go all in the same day.

what's the point of getting attached to a person if you are just going to get hurt in the end? what's the point of liking someone when in the end, it is just not going to work? what's the point in doing something to impress the person, to show the person how good you are in that particular area, when in the end you are not even going to get a simple response, like a smile or something???

honestly speaking, i want to just give up. throw everything down and walk away. turn around and not fight anymore. is that possible? am i willing to let everything go?

wow. i really do sound hopeless. tch, how weak.

A Random Poem

Birds on the mountain
Fish in the sea.
How you passed maths
Is a mystery to me!

Roses are red
Violets are blue,
I copied your paper
And I flunked too.

My teacher loves me
Thinks I'm dear.
She's kept me for
the fourth straight year.

History's a subject that's
As dead as it can be.
Once it killed the Romans,
And now its killing me.

When I die, bury me deep
Bury my history book at my feet.
Tell the teacher I've gone to rest
And won't be back for the history test.

Now I lay me down to rest,
I pray to pass tomorrow's test.
If I should die before I wake
That's one less test I'll have to take.

- Kiddy Humour for All Ages, Volume Five

Gnirob...

haha, for those who've read Cecilia Ahern's If You Could See Me Now, you guys would know what the title means. although... it doesn't take a genius to know what that meant either.

now that our final exams are over, it is now back to plain, old, boring schoolday - with a few exceptions: FREE TIME!! yes, people, final exams are over and we have nothing to study on.

hmm, but that also meant quiet times. very quiet times. i don't hang out with my friends (with a very good reason, might i add) and neither do i text message... well, not nowadays, i don't. so it's probably back to just me and you, bookie. i'll probably read, as usual, and catch up on some animes, if i have the mood.

now readers, i have to apologize. lets just say... i have to be inspired when i write. and since i'm going to do nothing nowadays, inspiration is going to be very hard to come by. maybe i've been hurt enough for this year, so i'll wait for next year to be hurt again as well.

but who knows? with any luck, something might happen to me during the remaining time shared between us friends (in school - we only have a week left to school holidays!) or during the holidays... like i said, who knows? with my luck, it's unpredictable.

it could be today, it could be tomorrow. it could be the day after tomorrow. it could as well be ten days from now *shrugs shoulders*

we'll just see when the time comes.