2012 ----> 2013

I sit at my small table, staring into my laptop as usual, ignoring the fact that I have studies to do and just focusing on my hobbies... for my three-week holiday is ending in two days. And the thought of classes starting again is just... NO.

I've become confused between the days and dates that have passed me by like the wind, fast and unknowing. I thought yesterday was today, today was yesterday... you get the point. So in actual fact, I did not know it was New Year's Eve today. Stupid, right?

Hence, I decided to just... write something. So... let's start from this month's December all the way down to earlier this year's February (because January is too insignificant).

December:
Watched Life of Pi (on the 24th) and Les Misérables (on the 26th). I will admit, I really loved Les Mis. Their music is amazing and addictive, and the vocals are a wonderful mix. Coming from a family who loves listening to music all the way to the 80's (sometimes the 70's and even the 60's), it was no wonder that we started rewatching live musicals such as Cats and Evita and even the Phantom of the Opera, and even started searching for the Les Mis musicals, e.g. the 10th and 25th anniversary musicals. My ears are satisfied. :)

My most favourite character in Les Mis: Éponine played by Samantha Barks. She's super pretty with an even prettier voice. Posting a picture (with glee feelings):

And all the way down to February (hah! did you think I was actually going to list out month per month? Naw, i wish my memory were that good in the first place):

I joined university, fresh out of college! I was officially accepted later in the year, but we started early. Anyway it's almost a year already and we still act as though we are in our first month, knowing nothing about our subjects. Yes, it is that difficult. But there is no turning back; time to suck it up and go through with it >:)

There were ups and downs in my 2012, more ups than downs, really. But a lot of things have happened, I can say... more than any other years that have come and gone. I won't forget, however, I will continue to hope for a better 2013, 2014, 2015... and yeah, you get my drift.

So I will see you in 2013 in at least two more hours (+8:00 GMT Singapore, Hong Kong) time. How did you spend your 2012? :)

Usagi Otoko Tora Otoko volume 3, Chapter 10-12

P.S.:
Translations and scans are not owned by me.

I asked the amazing Leanico (thank you!) to translate these scans that I found... somewhere, into English. It's been a long time, so I have no idea where I got the raws from. So I just pasted the translations into the scans.

I've never done this before, just so you know. I was bored and started playing with the Photoshop which I never knew existed in my laptop.

For those who plan to share this, at the very least, I'd appreciate credits to me (Yuki Ao + website) and Leanico. That's all I ask of you.

Here you go:

Mediafire

Please refer to NEW POST.
Sorry for the inconvenience!

I apologize for the amateur-ish work :)

Unity

oh, my heart. when i saw this picture, my heart literally stopped. they're so beautiful, made up of platinum and rose gold...

i am so in loooove with this right now :')

Patchwork

this is a manga by one of my most favourite manga authors, but it's not stated in Baka-Updates or anywhere else. so out of the goodness of my heart (or just the urge to share), here's the manga:

Summary: None (that i know of)...
Author: Fujitani Youko
Chapters: Oneshot
Scanlator: フー
Download: mediafire
Genre: Shounen Ai


it's really cute!

Sora To Hara

Summary:
Harasen a single, lonely 37 years old highschool teacher is unable to cope the departure of a student, who is also his subject of unrequited love. Faced with a love sickness, he returns to the clubbing scene to start a fresh where he tangles up with a very troublesome guy...
Sequel to: Doukyuusei
Status: COMPLETED
Author: Nakamura Asumiko
Chapters: 1-7 + Tsuuburokku (Extra)
Read online: MangaFox.me

                   Mangago.com
Scanlator: フー

Download: mediafire

Genre: Comedy, School Life, Shounen Ai

SUPER RECOMMENDED!!

Listen

a word of advice to all you people out there: LISTEN. don't just hear someone out, listen to what they are saying.

put yourself in the other's shoes. you're talking to him/her one day, clearly upset about something. you just want to let it out... and then, halfway, the other person interrupts and gives his/her opinion that has absolutely nothing to do with whatever you're talking about. imagine how irritated and annoyed you'd feel. that, my friend, is how we feel.

after that, you tried to explain again, and the same thing happened again. you'd just want to take an object and smack it against that person's face... a hand slap is just not enough anymore.

it would help if you would just shut up when you can't give some decent advice. why on earth would i want to confide in someone who wouldn't listen at all? someone who is so confident in believing that they can give very good advice... that they fully understand what the other party is going through when they themselves actually have never gone through it before.

sometimes, we just want someone to listen, not to get advice... don't we?

Parents

They will do anything for their children: support them, protect them, work their butts off to feed them... But you know, they also scold them, use them as an anger outlet, whack them when they're naughty, swear all sorts of names in all sorts of languages...

What i'm trying to say is that parents tend to forget who they were once when they were young. The days when they hung out with their friends, the days when they did stupid things, had gone dating with their partners... Days when they had the freedom to be children, teenagers - youngsters.

I grew up in a strict-family home. I've never gone shopping with my friends without my parents lurking in the other side of the mall (I was 18 when they first allowed me with this condition, and is still like this til today). In order to go anywhere, I must have a valid reason as to why I have to go there and with who and for how long, and if it's far, it is a definite NO unless I give a lot of valid reasons. So far, I have only gone out with my friends three times in my whole life.

It doesn't matter if I am going to the university, or the mall, or even at home: I must be within the building at all times. To even step out of the building will cause my chances of ever going anywhere even slimmer than now. When I'm at home, I must be in the house, no where else. I've broken this rule when I was in college once, and my mother found out, and she threatened to pull me out of the college and place me somewhere she can watch me. She would've asked people in the college to keep an eye out for me if I step out of line again.

I've never gotten a boyfriend either. Due to other reasons, I have finally settles on one which I can use as a valid reason for rejecting him without bad feelings: We cannot go on dates. It won't be fair for him. If my parents ever found out, my freedom might be gone forever.

I've never had my own privacy. My mother checks my Facebook (that's the whole reason she created a Facebook account in the first place, and actually demanded me to delete several posts.

It's so difficult to keep up to the timing in my university, even when i was in high school. I have never joined any clubs because my parents wouldn't be able to fetch me. Even if they were able to, the amount of fights I have with them to persuade them to fetch me would be endless.

Don't they think that this is suffocating me? The fact that I'm going to be 20 years old in a month, and this has not changed. They are restricting me of all the stuff that I should have experienced years ago. Because of these, I have practically zero experience of the outside world, and my mother said I just lack common sense. What the hell is that supposed to mean??

There's so many more things to write, but I think I'm going to have to continue next time. It makes me tear up just writing this.

Many of you may think I'm pathetic for writing this. Blogging this is my only way of venting my frustrations because I have nobody to throw all these at. Nobody will want to listen to these pathetic stuff, and I know. I've seen their faces. I've been keeping all these in, and it's becoming like poison to my own brain and heart. Nobody likes to hear complains, and I rather keep all these in than to make my already-limited amount of friends not hate me.

The anger that is building inside me is killing me, and I just want to scream and throw everything down and walk away. I have a way to calm 30% of it, but there's physical evidence. It's so difficult to keep it in...

I'll keep it in as long as you don't hate me.

I'm back! ...maybe?

It's been almost two years since I've last posted something here. It's also almost been this long since I've actually visited this site. Since this is the first post in so many months, I shall write down some of my reasons here (not in order):

1. Blogspot.com kicked me out, saying I needed a Google account in order to sign back in. That was a loooong time ago... I can't even remember what happened when I found that out. Eventually, I tried again today, and voila! I'm in :)

2. The past year and all had been ridiculously hectic. One of them was that I had 1.5 years of Cambridge GCE A Levels to complete. I somehow lost my interest in blogging and other hobbies, unfortunately.

3. I was more interested in manga... and still obsessively am :) For those who don't know, manga are Japanese comics.

4. I am bored. Three simple words. I just started my university course, and because of laziness and manga influence (that got me too addicted that I cannot let go anymore), my brain wandered off to this blog again and felt like writing a post again. so here i am.

I looked back at some of my precious posts... and realized how incredibly young I was. I had interests that no longer interest me, and feelings that I no longer harbour. There are still, though, some posts that still say who I am, and this somehow tells me that i still have yet to grow up completely.

Here's my first post in a long time, and hopefully i'll be back with inspiration to write again ;)

Looks

i have to agree - i don't look as pretty as others, not as impressive... bla bla bla. and i'm sure there are those who share my feelings. i happened to find this on the net (duh!) and it stuck to me somehow.

'Tis true my form is something odd,
But blaming me is blaming God;
Could I create myself anew
I would not fail in pleasing you.

If I could reach from pole to pole
Or grasp the ocean with a span,
I would be measured by the soul;
The mind's the standard of the man.

X)

Sigh..

It's been a while, hasn't it? with the national service program and all... but this is not why i'm typing this post today. in fact, they are different matters altogether. let's begin, shall we?

well, i'm sure everybody has heard of Facebook by now... and there's this particular place in it where we can put our pictures in it for people to see too. it was a few minutes ago when i so happened to browse through my friends' pictures. so many pictures, so many smiling faces, so many of them still together after all these years.

funny thing is, i'm considered one of the most invisible students back in high school. i enjoyed school, really i did, but that's when i started schooling in kindergarten until i was 13, in high school. since then, everything was turning downhill. everything changed; imagine, all your friends were your friends one morning and all of you were one big group. next thing you knew, little cracks begin to show in that big group. little by little, that one big group would become small... clans.

and then... maybe it was just time to grow up. obviously, with my type of family background, i can't enjoy most of my childhood or teenage years. but it really hurt so bad, like a butcher knife struck into your heart, when you realize it was too late to turn back and change to how things were before. it hurts, when i take flip through the pictures and see that all my friends are still together, and i'm left behind, partly because of my very-controlled family. and that butcher knife just keeps stabbing deeper as the years go by.

i hate this. i hate feeling unwanted, i hate feeling as though my life will always be like this, with no one to turn to. i thought i had already buried all these thoughts and feelings and told myself to get used to the way things are. but in the long run, i just hate myself even more for being like this; for being a loser... therefore, in the end, i'm only called a bitch. i feel better with that word now, more used to it, but still - sometimes, i just don't feel like i'm worth it in this world.