Losing Sanity

i walk around school and i see... things that i do not wish to see. when i go shopping (which i do not do often), i see people. when i am at home, i see... books. lots of books, since i love reading. but i can't make anything out of any of these.

i am so blur nowadays. headaches come more often now than ever. i have to study for my exams which are coming in at least three weeks, and i can't concentrate because i am very distracted these days.

i notice something too, even though i do not pay attention to my surroundings anymore. i notice that... well, i am not going to say in this post... ^^' but what i noticed is not bringing me any benefit; in fact, it is bringing me downhill.

i have almost given up on fighting already. there's too many emotions, too many for me to handle. i know i have said this one too many times, but i can't help it. i guess it is partly my fault i didn't tell anyone about this.

my head's spinning. i talk stuff in no sense at all - i'm sure you all can see that now. my sanity is not in tact, i think. i just want to cry and let it all out. why is it so hard to do that? i think i'll have to wait for a lifetime if i have to wait for tears to come.

See? See?? listen to that paragraph!! i don't think half of you will understand what that meant. but seriously, hiding my head in books won't help me forget what's happening to me.

i'm so tired... tired. that's all i ever feel now, besides all the rushing emotions. i want to forget all these ever happened, and move on with a happy and calm feeling. there's chaos everywhere, and i don't want to fight anymore.